Finding my Christmas

As Faith Hill vocally explodes with "Where Is Christmas?",
I also wonder...where is Christmas for me?
I spent the better part of November being sick, watching my children struggle through various yucks, and never seeing my husband during daylight hours. I made a point to have my house decorated for Christmas BEFORE Thanksgiving because I just had a feeling that there would not be much time once Thanksgiving ended.

Boy, was I right. Woowhee.

This December began with a chaotic pace and didn't really let up until this Monday. I intentionally planned nothing for this week...and it has been wonderful. Ahhhhhhhh. I have so many notes and pictures ready to be posted...I'm actually getting excited about it. I think I'm giddy just thinking about getting these past few weeks all nicely typed and documented. *giggle* To blog again...ahhhhhhh.

What I want to share before this year officially ends is where I found Christmas for me...in the midst of all the hullabaloo that I actually do enjoy. Knowing that this time of the year is super-busy, I spent some time praying that I would feel that special warm glow that I've always associated with Christmas. I tried to find it everyday. Did I succeed? Not really. Sad, isn't it? Even all the hours spent for the Christmas Festival somehow lost some of its luster. Maybe I was trying too hard. Shopping for presents didn't bring me any closer to that feeling I was so desperate to find. Wrapping? Nope. My beloved Christmas carols? Nada. Classic TV programs and movies? Nothing. Seriously...I thought I was a lost cause. Until...

The two days before Christmas. I spent those two days frantically baking and getting things ready for us to leave for a night. I guess by then I had assumed I would be a grump and just be struggling to get things done. My friend pegged it right...I was a frail tree. Charlie Brown, even. BUT...I found my Christmas amid all the cocoa powder and brown sugar. Sifting flour and cracking eggs brought me joy. Believe me if you will. I realized it wasn't necessarily the baking or spending time in my kitchen, it was that my mind and heart were so focused on sharing something of Christmas, and something special of me (even in a small way) to my treasured friends. Service is a true healer. I am constantly humbled by how these acts...great or small...being given or graciously received...have the ability to open my heart to the wonder of our Savior's love. I pray this new year finds me seeking out opportunities to serve...great or small. Obviously, my spirit yearns for these moments.

So where is my Christmas?
I'm happy to report that I found it indeed. It was in my baking cupboard all the time. Snuggled in between my baking powder and vanilla flavoring. It even overflowed onto my gift bags and cute festive ribbon. Smack in the middle of a supposed hectic endeavor, I found peace. I felt my warm Christmas glow.

Who knew? :)