The things I'll miss one day...errr, I'm sure

I really will miss this one day:
Noggin is little man's favorite TV channel. He would watch it 24 hours a day, which of course would never happen because as a wonderful mother I always carefully manage limited amounts of television watching...uhh...yeah, that's right. Anyhoo...
He loves Noggin. He also loves Noggin.com on the computer. And he calls it just that: Noggin-dot-com.
He bumped his head on something the other day, stood up rubbing the bumped spot, and said: I hit my noggin-dot-com.

This is what I really don't plan on missing:
The telephone has become a struggle. Little man takes every opportunity when the phone rings to be naughty. Even when the phone just rings and I'm not near it or it's not even for me, he still goes straight for the naughtiness. He climbs up my pot drawers like a ladder and tries to microwave my spoon rest or any random thing left on the stove. The microwave has slowly become my nemesis.
Now, I find myself surrounded.

If he can't get past my mad-ninja skills to climb onto the counter to get to the microwave, he will instead climb onto the counters across the kitchen...to the sink. Ugh. This is actually worse. If the sink is what becomes invaded by little man, he pulls out the soap dispenser thingamajig (gross and slimy) or Germ-x's himself into oblivion or turns the water on, pulls out the sprayer...and watch out! Now he's begun climbing from the sink onto the raised counter over the sink which opens into our family room. This makes me nervous because it is high, and he is still...well, short. And of course, you can't be on this counter without attempting a flying leap onto our couch which is positioned about 2 1/2 feet away. He's really fast. (I point this out because I know my mom is reading this and cringing and breaking out in a cold sweat just envisioning her precious grandson flying through the air. He is fast. Super-ridiculous-mutated forms of fast. I am always right behind him. He's just faster.) The problem is when he hears the phone ring and I'm in a different room. I have to run to where he is just to make sure he sees I'm absolutely not on the phone...wouldn't dream of it...now get your little booty off the counter before you get hurt...no, get off...would you let go and come here...don't hit at me, I'm just trying to keep you safe... (You get the idea.)

The kid is driving me nuts. I love him, but I am so over the telephone struggle.
I have now gone from someone who has always easily been a phone person to someone who more often than not, just needs to get to the point and say "bye bye". I have also grown to intimately adore email more than I ever thought possible. I can still have lengthy phone conversations, they just have to be perfectly timed...and I have to remain perfectly hidden in just the right nook of the house to remain undetected.

This is where my mad-ninja skills really shine.