Sometimes I just sit and stare at my kids and think:
Dang! They are just CUTE!
And that, my friends, is what saves them from Mommy's Wrath most days.
I ask...How can something so visually pleasing be so downright "not" when the mouth is open and functioning? It's bad enough that my girls swing drastically from sassy evil-ettes to sweetness personified at the drop of an oh so minuscule hat, but now to have sucked my precious & adorable & 'so cute I actually HAVE TO shmoosh him' son into their lair is almost unforgivable. (I do indeed forgive them...every time...aarrgghh...because they are also stinking cute...darn it.) One ugly kid and I might be able to release some hostility. But no. My offspring are beautiful. Ironic. (sigh) Back to my vent...
The following are only a couple of examples of the mutiny now taking place in my once sass-less home (i.e. 'the good old days'):
example #1
Mommy: Son, don't spit ice on the floor. (Seriously, was that asking for too much?)
Little man: I no spit ice, Mommy. (Right. Like I can't understand what I'm seeing.)
Mommy: DON'T spit ice, son. That is gross. (Again...asking too much?)
LM: I no spit ice, Mommy. I watuh. (meaning that he has now indeed stopped spitting ice onto the floor but has instead begun letting the water in his mouth just pour out over his chin and all over the...yep, the floor)
Mommy: Well, swallow your water, please.
LM: (continues with giggles)
Mommy: As soon as you're finished, let me know. I'll help you clean up your mess.
LM: I no yike cweam up.
Mommy: Well, stop making a mess.
LM: I no mess. (At this point, I am taking the cup of ice water away...enough is enough.)
LM: (manipulative crying ensues)
Mommy: (thinking...who are you, your sister?)
LM: (with heart-wrenching determination) I need my watuh. I lush my cup, Mommy!
Mommy: Too bad. You shouldn't have been spitting and being gross. Water stays in your mouth, mister man.
LM: (with a look I've seen for 8 years now) No, YOU mistuh man!
Mommy: (aw crap...you must be your sister)
example #2
I find little man in his room playing with his tools. He is, of course, cute as cute can be. I therefore want to join in the cuteness. Unfortunately, my once welcoming son is not having it.
Mommy: Whatcha doing? Can I play? (thinking this as a rhetorical request)
LM: No, Mommy go way.
Mommy: Why? Mommy loves to play with you.
LM: Mommy go way.
Mommy: (big sigh) Okay. Come get me when you're ready to play.
less than one minute later, as heard from the kitchen
LM: (knocking on B & K's door) Babee! Babee! (what he calls B) I want to pway wif you! Yet me yin! I want to pway wif you!
Don't get me wrong...I love that he loves his sisters, but I've got to admit...that stung. I feel like the loser that never gets invited to join in the secret club. Totally stinks.
example #3 ... and what I consider to be the worst (seriously, I don't like it at all)
I won't even attempt to reconstruct any of the dialogue. It just bugs me to relive it.
And he has said it not once, not twice, but a few times. And most recently, in front of other people. It is SO embarrassing. What are the words that drives me nuts...?
Little man: You be kiyet (quiet), Mommy.
I am not even kidding. Sure it could be worse. But it's not. So for me...this is not funny. The worst part is that it is so cute how he says it, I just want to laugh it off. But if you could just see his serious little look, you would NOT laugh. Nary a snicker. This kid means business. And just where would my precious lamb learn not only these words, but the tone AND the look? I'll give you 2 sisterly guesses.
Of course, the girls aren't telling me to be quiet. They are much smarter than that. They are telling each other at random times throughout the day. Thank goodness we've outlawed "shut up" from being spoken in our home. I can't imagine the blood pressure medication I would need if I heard those words coming out of those little kissable lips.
oh and I just remembered the latest...
example #4
When asking little man to do or not do something that he is not in agreement with, you hear the following: No, I not.
Which is quickly followed by a much louder and more vehement: No, I NOT!
And this enjoyable sentiment is rounded off with the ever lovely sassy combo: No, I not! Go way! You be kiyet, Mommy!
Oh joy.
Supposedly his mimicking his sisters is a great form of flattery, but come on. I think I much preferred the pink crocs and make-up.
Tombstone
6 years ago
9 comments:
It's cute now but just you wait. You will be missing these days in 13 years. It's not even cute at 15.
So gald to see you posting. I'll be kiyet now and go away!
I understand your feelings about your children - Liz and I have five, and it' as if life hardly happened before they were born. But this comment is actually a change of subject. I found your blog when I was searching for people who like to read and include fantasy titles among their favorites. May I suggest one to try? "Outcasts Of Skagaray" is an action adventure fantasy, which you might like if you enjoy some of the ones you list. For a free preview, go to www.threeswans.com.au My blog is http://threeswans.blogspot.com if you feel like visiting. It would be a thrill if you read my book and enjoyed it, but whatever happens, God bless.
As the Goppie, speaking on behalf of the three most beautiful and brilliant grandchildren in the world, let me say that these remarks are only momentary and do not (overall) change how very much they love you! As the Mom, you are the most beautiful and brilliant daughter in the world. Do not take their words seriously! You are a fantastic mother to those little ungrateful angels! Have a great day!
It's amazing what we learn from our siblings when we are the babies of the Fam! Just think if he gets all the sass out now maybe you'll luck out and he'll be the best teen ever! :) Of course he still may be your best teen since you have some major estrogen gonna be goin' on over there in the next several years! ;)
Yes, I am back, but missing Georgia :( I will be there! I'll call ya!
God made our kids cute on purpose! It makes it hard to discipline them when they gave you that precious smile. Ugh!!
Glad to have you back with the blogging. I missed you! Don't take such a long break again.
OK, your new header and picture made me laugh out loud. Nice. So Carter tells you to be quite and Hailey tries to put me in time out. What's up?
So been there. It's really my life now. Glas to know your alive and love all the updates on your blog. I am so with you on the font thing. Nothing cute.
I'm sorry that Mr. Man is trying to come into his own but agree with Shari - It's cute NOW - not so much later!
About the font thing - I have several different font programs and have downloaded multiple others - what are you (and Sharon) looking for - maybe I can help!
Ty is my brilliant fella. When I would scold him for doing something absolutely awful... ranting, raving, trying to show hime the err of his ways... Ty would calmly and SERIOUSLY look at me, and say, 'Mommy, do you need a hugx' (his way of saying hug and kiss). Therefore making me feel like an idiot, especially in public, and making HIM look like the innocent, composed, level-head one between us two. And what am I to then say to hime???!... NO, you may NOT hugx me son, go away.... I would hug him and usually loose my train of thought because his hugx are the best squeezes EVER, I'm putty in his hands, darn him. What these precious boys can't do to their wonderful moms, giggle!!!
Post a Comment