Vomit...fun times.

I had a new experience on Friday...

My day was planned around organizing and distributing the last of our school's spirit shirts. I knew I would be there for hours and made sure the kids knew where to find me. The morning of, however, K had a sore throat and other various ailments...she stayed home. Lil man started complaining in the van on the way to school that his tummy hurt. I thought he just wanted to stay home with his sister, so assured him he would be just fine...he stayed at school.

I came home for a couple of hours.
Then I went back to the school to deal with spirit shirts.

Upon entering the front office, I was immediately greeted with an "awesome" story from the principal about how my son had been in the nurse's office with a tummy ache.
back story: Apparently, lil man has this habit of going to the nurse's office when he needs to do a poo-poo. He says when he tries to go during a regular bathroom break, it takes too long and his class leaves him in the bathroom so he tries to hold it...making his tummy hurt. He learned a couple of weeks ago that the nurse doesn't rush a poo-poo. He gets to lay on one of her beds and relax until the "mood hits him".
the rest of the story: So in walks my son with a tummy ache. The principal was in the nurse's office at this point and asked lil man what was wrong...? He told her he had a tummy ache. She asked him if something needed to come out "here" (up and out) or "here" (down and out). The nurse explained that he probably had to do a poo-poo and told him to go on in the bathroom. Lil man told them that he had already tried and nothing happened. The nurse instructed him to try again and think about it.
At this point, the principal takes over and says: "I got this. I've got two boys so I can handle this one."
She tells lil man to go lay down and not think about anything at all...just listen to her and the nurse talk or zone out or whatever. I guess that's all it took because she said he jumped up about 10 seconds later and says: "Okay, I think it's time now!"
She laughed and said boys never perform well under pressure and just need to take their minds off the situation for a minute.
I guess so. :)

A little while later, I see my son who is still complaining that his "tummy really hurts". I let him lay down where I'm working and then send him back to class when he seems better. I promise him that I will check on him before I leave the school, but I'm sure he'll be fine.

3 hours later, I happened to be in the nurse's office for a completely unrelated reason when I see my son's teacher walk in. Then I notice she's holding a garbage can.
And my son's hand.
Who is covered in vomit.

Oh my goodness I felt so bad! I had been telling him all day that he would be fine. I really thought he just had a poo-poo issue or wanted to be home with K. Ugh. I was wrong.

I apologized profusely to the teacher who was amazingly gracious about the entire disgusting situation. She left to take her class outside to play while the room was cleaned. So embarrassing.
I had lil man stay with the nurse to rest and went to his classroom to get his backpack and restmat. On the way, I see two of the custodians pulling on plastic gloves and walking toward the Kindergarten hallway. I told them I thought they were going to clean up vomit. The lady said: "Oh are we?"
I then continued...yeah, the vomit came out of my son.
She laughed and said: "You owe be SO big!"

As we entered the hallway, we found it.
Then I went into lil man's classroom, and found some more.
Poor kid.

Another poor kid? The little girl whose rainbow leopard print lunchbox happened to have unfortunately fallen on the floor...right in the exact spot where lil man "lost it" the most. UGH.

As I'm making my way back down the main hallway of the school, I'm  accosted by several teachers and moms letting me know that my son was sick and in the nurse's office. I guess vomit makes the headlines pretty fast.
I walk into the nurse's office and find the nurse cracking up at my son. Apparently, he has been entertaining her with war stories of his time in the vomit trenches. She asks me if he just keeps me laughing all day...? She thinks he is just "hilarious" and "full of personality". He then shares with everyone in the room: "Mommy, you said I would be fine. You ALWAYS tell me I'll be fine. But I wasn't, was I? I really got sick this time! Can you believe that? Cause you SAID I'd be fine, but I wasn't. I threw up in my class!"

Did I mention that I felt really REALLY bad about my mommy judgement on this one...or obvious lack of it? As I begin to apologize to my son, I realize that he's not mortified or upset at all. He's loving it. He's milking this for all it's worth.
As we go through the front office to check out, he's announcing to everyone we pass how he threw up TWICE and how "Mommy told me I'd be fine, but I wasn't!" (with a smile).
Yikes.
Oh sure, everyone thinks he's adorable...all covered in his own vomit. EW.

Really though, my girls would NEVER want to go back to school if they had thrown up at school. In fact, they have a serious phobia about throwing up in public. I might have to medicate them to ever get them back in the school building if this ever happens to them.
But lil man? He thinks it's totally cool.
Must be a boy thing.

Speaking of boys, let me share the funniest part:
As we are checking out, another little boy from lil man's class is checking out also. His mom looks at my son and his shirt and says: "Oh...he's the one."
Yes, yes, I say. He's the one. Sorry.
She just laughed and said: "It happens."
Yes, yes it does, I say.
As we are all exiting the building, the other little boy turns to lil man and yells:
"Hey! That was some GOOD throw-up!!"

My son?
Gives a slow thumbs up, grins this lopsided grin, and says "thanks".
I'd swear he was proud of himself.

(Follow-up: lil man continued to throw up and have diarrhea over the next two days. And I'd daresay he didn't find near as much fun vomiting at home as he did with a rapt audience.)

Boys!